Hi Patrik (and list members), Those are some pretty intense lyrics! I can only guess that it's based on a true-life experience for you. I have one HUMBLE suggestion. If you'd like the song to have a broader appeal, I'd suggest that you remove the name "Denise" and replace it with something a little more generic...such as "my love" or something along those lines. This gives the listener the opportunity to connect with the song on their own personal level. If you give a specific name, then it becomes trickier to relate to. Plus, in my again humble opinion, I don't think "Denise" is a particularly easy name to sing in a lyric. It's a nice enough name, it just doesn't seem very musical to me. But that's just my opinion. :-) I do the songwriting thing, too. You can check out some early lyrics and soundclips (including electric and acoustic cover versions of the Police's "So Lonely") at www.project37.net. Strictly a hobby for me, not quitting my day job anytime soon! Cheers, Brian -----Original Message----- From: Ulrica & Patrik [mailto:lutyou at comhem.se] Sent: 11 November 2003 20:38 To: police at mailman.xmission.com Subject: [Police] [OFF-TOPIC] Lyrics. I hope this won't piss anyone off, but many of you guys are English-speakers and I'm not. And still it's about music and lyrics by a Sting-fan so it's kind of related to the list anyway. I just wrote some lyrics (below) and I'd like some input on it (both language and content).