In a message dated 11/13/02 12:54:28 AM, discoduck@shaw.ca writes: I'm jealous as hell and I admit it. Ross >> I'm right there with you, Ross! Not in a bad way, but oh, to be them. Actually, the only person I envy more is Trudie! It's a wonderful thought---always being there in hopes of "getting in", but for me, reality is responsibility to my family. I know how much effort it took on my part just to go to the 5 or so shows from BND, not on the travel/tourning part, but my family. How does one explain to 3 little kids "mom's gone looney." For what? When it boils down to it, to see a band. Granted, it's a spiritual thing for me to be there, the whole event. I like getting there early, I like sitting there watching the arena fill up, the excitement and buzz in the air. It's been a 20+ year journey for one band, with highs and lows. Unfortunately, it's not an experience my husband chooses to share (nor do I really want him to!) but it's something he has footed the bill for and I feel really guilty. Can I pack up and go to Italy, NY, wherever just for the "chance" of getting in? No. I didn't even take the risk at this point in my life for the Central Park show. I just can't go home telling the husband, "No, I went there and couldn't get in, but thanks for letting me spend all that money and neglecting my kids!" My reality doesn't allow me to be a "real" fan I guess, but that's the path I chose in life. I guess I'm just frustrated because I'm feeling like (due to this discussion) I'm a lesser Police/Sting fan just because I haven't made that "extra effort." What really defines a "Real" fan vs. a "non real" fan? I'm having a hard time with this now, because I think I'm one of the biggest one out there---at least in the top 100! Cheers! Michelle