Cintra Wilson is the author of "A Massive Swelling:Celebrity Re-examined as
a Grotesque, Crippling Disease and other Cultural Revelations." She just
recently wrote this about this year Oscars - read what she has to say about
Tom Cruise and check out what she then says about Sting !
"I must warn the world about Tom Cruise. I feel he is an utterly
terrifying
Superior Life Form, with the power to melt heads and braid spines.
His eyes
are as hard, shiny and brutally penetrating as diamond drill-bits.
The new
braces on his teeth suggest that he is erasing all that remained of
his tiny
imperfections, and he is now metamorphosing into Ultra Super
Perfection Man
3000. I fear his intense, mind-beating politeness, his titanium
imperviousness to human weakness, his barking power-laugh.
"Movies make a little bit of magic touch our lives," he commanded
us to
acknowledge, with steely resolve and Mach-5 mega-humorlessness.
People in the audience started laughing, until they realized that
Tom was
Not Being Funny At All. He was chosen to frankly address the
post-Sept. 11
whither-the-Oscars conundrum head-on. "Should we celebrate the
magic the
movies bring? Now?" Tom asked, his eyes boring into the eyes of the
TV
multitudes and implanting rays of total domination. "Dare I say
it?" He
flashed a smirk with his robotically flawless teeth. "More than
EVER," he
hissed, laying on his most Extreme Scientological Unction. He had
been
commanded by the Elders to Obi-Wan-Kenobi-ize the audience into
rebelieving
in the importance of the obscenely superfluous Oscars. Tom Cruise
is
becoming the Scary Flaming Eye from "The Lord of the Rings," and I
fear that nobody can stop him.
then goes on to say about the Song nominees ...
"I was glad Randy Newman finally got the award for best song; with
his 16
nominations and zero wins, he was the Susan Lucci of the Oscars.
But he had
to win: Enya is the music I imagine when I am standing in a meadow
in a
white dress, closing my eyes and rapturously rubbing soft, quilted,
two-ply
toilet tissue against my cheeks. Sting, that perfectly unblemished
and
sincerely perfectly superior and theologically self-actualized
übermensch,
is essentially becoming the musical Tom Cruise. And Diane Warren is
the
SWORN ENEMY OF ALL MUSIC"
Who is this woman ??? And what drugs does she take .. ?
Jason from Ireland.
