As usuall, my boredom forced me to write this essay: why i hate gavin, by Matt Schieffer In regards to the always charming, never brash Gavin, i must admit I truly hate thee. I mean, you get to go to Coachella and see Wayne in the bubble and all these cool gigs and be in possession of a copy of the one Orb show I have been too and its not fair. GIVE UP THE GOODS GAV! The worst part is I he doesnt get mad when people post their "nonce" as our absent unkle long-finger would say, he just keeps on 'truckin' like the hippy who doesnt know how to roll he is. This Prom King (to Rachel's Prom Queen) of the orblist must be destroyed. Someboyd this perfect must have skeletons in his closet, or at least a few custom fitted man-ziers for those weekend cross dressing excursions. I have just heard he may be moving to the same, small, boring Midwestern capitol that I work in and reside near. If by chance I meet this vain, self important, overly considerate man (like Simon Belmont from Captain N cartoon, remember and mother brain and king hippo were badguys) little will he know the deep seeded hatred i posses, lurking just a few epidermis layers below my callow. I do, however, like to see he likes some shitty music like phantom planet and the Rutles... this makes him non-infallable. Matty p.s. Hey GAV! *call me* "Go away. I'm all right." -- famous last words of H.G. Wells, English writer and social theorist