Once upon a time, there was a little boat named Vixen. Vixen was a happy boat, the only sailboat in the apartment complex parking lot reserved for boats, utility trailers, RVs and the like. All the other boats were ugly, all squatty and low on their trailers with big noisy, smelly, gas-guzzling engines at the back. Vixen knew that when she was on the water, she didn't have to use an engine at all; she could move around gracefully and quietly using only the wind.

She smiled indulgently at the little PWCs who, though wearing flashy clothes, were considered noisy annoyances, much like a mosquito buzzing around one's head. Would that she could swat them down as easily. Little did she know that there were other boats like her, but there were none here deep in the mountains of southwest Virginia, for what fool would own a sailboat in this part of the country?

Eventually, Vixen sighed contentedly as she finally settled back into her real element, sliding off her trailer (suffering only a little scrape to her shin) and floating in the salty water. As she sailed into the marina, moving proudly in the water, much taller than the smelly boats and with her mast held high, she suddenly saw other boats like herself.

"Oh!" cried Vixen, "There are hundreds of them! And they're all so big! They're twice as big as I am! Whatever am I to do?"

For though Vixen was now among her own kind and was considered very pretty and received lots of compliments, she felt very small.

That night, she prayed to her maker. "Dear Montgomery", she whispered, "Golly, I'd like ever so much to be bigger. I could be ever so happy. Oh, I don't need to be twice as big, but wouldn't it be ever so nice if I were oh, say, a 23-foot cutter?" (Vixen liked to talk like Shirley Temple).

Fellow and fella MSOGgies, you can make little Vixen's dream come true. If we all care enough, we can turn Vixen into a brand new, handsome, sturdy 23-foot sailboat. And it's so easy to do.

Without knowing the real price, let's say it takes $50,000 to turn Vixen II into a full 23 feet long, with another $10,000 to dress her up real purty-like, with roller furling headsails and in-boom furling main, teak and holly sole (the Sole family used to live next door to me--nice couple), all brass and bronze fittings, fully-equipped galley with microwave, dodger, radar, chartplotter, autohelm, integrated nav station, satellite TV, and those fancy color-coordinated wrapped docklines. If just 30 of you were to send to me, personally, $2,000 each, we can make her ever so happy AND pretty.

Now I realize we didn't quite reach our goal the first year for my personal vacat-I-mean-data- collection-trip to California (the goal that year was $10,300; we were only $10,200 short), and last year's goal of many thousands of dollars again fell just a tad short, even though We tried to invoke Our regal heritage and privilege. Nevertheless, We shall continue to have faith this year, though the Royal Treasury is depleted.

As an added incentive, anyone who sends more than $2,000 will have their name printed on the hull, just like on the America's Cup boats, only in tiny illegible letters like they have on TV car and drug ads describing loan terms or contraindications and written with a water-soluble white board marker pen assuring that your name will last until the morning dew. That alone would be worth it, eh? Actually, donors are listed on the MSOG site under, oddly enough, "MSOG Site".

If for some irrational reason you don't care ever so much about Vixen or Shirley Temple to send $2,000, there is a much more affordable alternative. It takes a little money each year to keep the MSOG web site running. Donations are used to pay the hosting company (Vision Interactive Systems at http://www.visionis.com/hosting/; MSOG has the Basic plan), and to keep the domain name msog.org registered. Your humble web master doesn't ask for any compensation; that way, no one can complain about the quality of the work, and everyone gets what they pay for.

At any rate, any donation you'd like to send will be much appreciated, amounts usually hover around $5-10, but you need not feel constrained by these numbers. ;)

We need to raise only $140 to run the site for another year. If you have already filed your taxes, you plan to use the refund for your boat anyway, so why not on a boat-related resource like the MSOG? If you haven't filed yet like yours truly, you might consider sending a donation as a warm-up exercise.

Finally, should we not reach our goal, I will feel compelled to hold an auction of my used personal hygiene items including various tubes of salves, balms, unguents and ointments no longer needed (I'm glad THAT finally got cured). That oughta get the ball rolling.