http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1339411,00.html *'Contradiction is one of the things that drives me'* Bill Drummond was live online today to talk about his current project, How to be an Artist, and answer all your questions. Bill is currently performing How to be an Artist at the Arts Depot (www.artsdepot.co.uk <http://www.artsdepot.co.uk>) in north London; if you would like to see the performance on Monday November 1 for half price, ie a fiver, call the box office at 020 8369 5454 to book and remember to bring a copy of Monday's Guardian with you. *Thursday October 28, 2004* *BillDrummond* Good afternoon. I'm Bill Drummond and I'm here to answer some questions. *TommyDGNR8* Which do you think has the stronger latent psychic powers: penguins or kittens? *BillDrummond* Penguins or kittens? I'm gonna try this one at home. And once that's done, I'll let you know the results. *Romios* Can one be an artist AND have a number one single? *BillDrummond* I've been an artist as long as I can remember. Although at times I've been in denial. You can do nothing about having number one singles. They're just an accident of fate. *Puffinry23* Did you ever discover whether or not God is a cunt? *BillDrummond* Re: the phone lines - god is not a cunt is slightly ahead. But, in my own thinking, I rethought the whole thing and thought if god was the ultimate mum then we'd all be born through the ultimate cunt. In fact my latest thinking is that god is all cunt. In a positive sense. *Ladygrey* How many people played Silent Protest? Weren't there enough? Why is UK garage rubbish? Are Franz Ferdinand better than Dizzee Rascal? *BillDrummond* Obviously you didn't play Silent Protest. If you had have played there would be no war in Iraq. As for Franz Ferdinand better than Dizzee Rascal - at least DR wasn't responsible in any way for starting the war to end all wars. *marymungomidge* Dear Bill, For how many people have you made soup so far? What's been your most successful recipe? What's the largest number of people you've made soup for? What have you learned from the Soup Line? 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It's always the basic same recipe. I've never made soup for more than 60 people at any one time. And I've learnt that the soup line is creatively the most satisfying thing I've ever been involved with. *SWalsh* Bill, Red or Brown sauce? And are monkeys or pigs more betterer? Regards, Swalsh. *BillDrummond* I hate ketchup. I hate HP sauce. I can like chilli sauce and sometimes like soy sauce. Some days, monkeys are betterer than pigs. But mostly pigs are bestest. *PJW1972* How many bits of Smell of Sulphur have you sold so far? Do I have to come to your exhibition to buy one? And do you mind what people do with it once they have it? *BillDrummond* I've sold over 6,000 bits. You don't have to come to an exhibition to buy one - you can buy it for over the odds on Ebay or direct from penkiln-burn.com <http://www.penkiln-burn.com>. *LairdApfel* Bill, do you still have the mad wee tower at Cushendall? What's come out of it? Who do you think should replace Bertie? Is Bertie some form of divine revenge for us ever daring to believe that we are feisty enough to fight consistently above our weight? Any plans for 78? Loving some of your stuff with Idler, can I push you in the direction of The Chap; the Tweed revolution is here. *BillDrummond* I still have the tower in Cushendall. It is neither mad nor wee. And it still acts as an ongoing artists' residency. You can apply to stay there by going to penkiln-burn.com - in you we trust. *Tammy* Dear Bill I am in desperate need of soup. Will you oblige? Love, Tammy (Brighton) *BillDrummond* You live in Brighton. Thus you don't live on the Soup Line. Thus I'm afraid I won't be coming round to your house to make you soup. Make your own soup line with Brighton on it. *Stuartwilliam* Hello Bill Drummond. That million pounds you burned; it wasn't all yours was it? Didn't you owe some Zoo artists royalties from that money? *BillDrummond* As far as I'm aware, I don't owe anybody anything. If there's somebody out there who thinks I owe them something, they know how to get in touch with me. *Zane*Have you ever met Robert Anton Wilson? Have you seen his DVD? What did you think of it? *BillDrummond* Yes. I met Robert Anton Wilson in March 1977 but I can't remember anything about the meeting. And no, I haven't seen his DVD. *fmk* Bill - loved the music, love the books (I love the thing you wrote about reading birthday letters and sending the individual pages out the train windows). You still loving Arvo Part? Anything else you'd recommend? *BillDrummond* Yes, I still love Arvo Part. I was listening to him as I drove in to London today. I'd recommend that you spend all next year not listening to any music that was made previous to 2005. *Mescalinvision* Esteemed Bill, After The Wild Highway, doing the Kurtz thing, do you have any plans for the third book? Great Wall of China? The Lost kingdom of Alamut? Would you like some peyote? *BillDrummond* Yes, there is a third book planned which will take in South America. And yes, we will need some peyote. *Sarajane* Hi Bill, You describe yourself as an artist - do you think that everything you've done can be perceived as art whether it's managing Echo & The Bunnymen, having hit records yourself or your own recent projects like Silent Protest, making soup and How to be an Artist itself? In this current climate of celebrity worship, you seem to have spent the last 10 years denying your own celebrity? Is this because you tasted success / celebrity and didn't like it? Or do you need to be "the ordinary man" in order to be creative? You are charging £5 less for signed copies of your book - is this an anti-celebrity statement? *BillDrummond* I'd like to be able to answer your question. But I'd be here all fucking day if I tried to. And I wouldn't agree with whatever I'd written the next day. So I'd better leave it at that. *Buffy* Dear Bill, You are currently working on 25 projects - is this because you have too much time on your hands or would you say it was more a case of there being not enough hours in the day? Having recently seen one of the How to be an Artist performances it seems to me that a lot of your creative output is motivated by guilt. You bought the Richard Long with excess money from when you were making pop records and you are now aiming to sell it for the same amount and bury the money in order to rekindle your connection with the work itself? This guilt seems to inform some of your other actions - retiring from the music business and burning the proceeds. *BillDrummond* I can't deny that guilt has been a big motivator in some of the stuff that I've done. But joy, love, and ego have far outweighed the guilt things. *Richard* Dear Mr Drummond, Why the long face? I find a lot of your work very thought provoking and sometimes smile inducing. But yet, you might make me smile but you never really made me laugh. Or maybe you are taking the piss and having a good laugh at our expense. Irony and cynicism can be overdone. Where has the fun gone? Shouldn't there be more fun and joy and overall jovial stupidity in the art world. Does art have to be serious or sadly ironic for it to work; for the artist's message to get across? Does art really need to be about spreading ones message? And if it does do we inevitably dismiss what we laugh at? Is it still possible to make absurd art in a world gone mad? *BillDrummond* Why the long face? Because I have one. I've never been a funny person; I've always actively disliked fun. I'm not taking the piss, I'm definitely not cynical, and I always resent it when I'm aware that irony creeps into what I do. I try to take seriously whatever I'm doing. I sometimes let myself down. *Isabellisima * Hello Bill, I would really, really like you to come and work in my district (in the interest of twinning it with my wildest dreams) - should I just email you at penkiln burn, or is there some other official person that I should contact? *BillDrummond* If your district is in Belfast, then I'm more than willing to come and help you twin it with your wildest dreams. And yes, you can just email the Intercontinental Twinning Association (ita@penkiln-burn.com <mailto:ita@penkiln-burn.com>). *Hugh* Hi Bill, long time no see. Here's my question: do you ever re-read Bad Wisdom - I do - and if so, what do you think? Best wishes, Hugh *BillDrummond* I take it you're Hugh as in Barnes. I hope academia has been treating you well. I'm afraid I never re-read anything. Whether I've written it or anybody else has, other than the odd poem. *L3xx* Do you prefer short & pithy to long and detailed? *BillDrummond* If left to my own devices, everything I do is over-long and over-detailed. I'm trying today the short and pithy tack. Is it working? *Richard* Hello Mr Drummond, I'm a little unclear on the status of A Smell Of Sulphur In The Wind If Richard Long reproduced the work would the reproduction belong to you? What's to stop him doing that and selling it again? *BillDrummond* There is nothing to stop Richard Long reproducing the work A Smell of Sulphur in the Wind. It was sold by his gallery as a one off for $20,000. Obviously, he owns the negative and can print off as many copies as he wants, but if he was to do this and sell them he would break an unwritten contract and undermine his worth in the art business. Of course that doesn't undermine the meaning or the true worth of the work. There is a contradiction in there somewhere that I am attracted to both in myself and...look I am getting myself tied in knots trying to answer this question. It would take me all night to try and answer it properly. In fact the contradiction is one of the things that drives me. Thanks for sending in the questions. Sorry I didn't answer them all. Yes, I do feel uncomfortable answering questions in this format, but then I feel uncomfortable answering any questions. That's that. Yours, Bill Drummond -- Stuart Young, Michelle Ardern & Felix Ardern-Young (3) Live at: 42B, Sefton Ave, Grey Lynn, Auckland, NZ Phone: +64 (0)9 376 8100 say.map@ihug.co.nz Graphic and Web design, Web development and hosting: http://www.pixelandgrain.co.nz/ Stuey's personal website - a cobweb site: http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~stuey/ Any views expressed in this email are those of the author and not of any of the organisations we are involved with.