HB Arnett's "Lite" <mailto:hbarnett@fiber.net> hbarnett@fiber.net 801 372 0819 Vol. 38, Issue 27, - January 28, 2019 BYU Football, Basketball and Carpet Cleaning I spent the weekend carpet cleaning. My personal theory on carpets and cleaning is: "If it doesn't stink, it doesn't need cleaning." Here is my wife's theory: Carpet Cleaning. Done for appearance, and the removal of stains, dirt, and allergens is done through several methods (Usually Husbands). Clean carpets are recognized by manufacturers (And Wives) as being more visually pleasing, potentially longer-lasting (As in Marriages), and probably healthier than poorly maintained carpets. Which got me to thinking about Carpets and Cougars. Here are some of those thoughts. Called on the Carpet. ... To call someone on the carpet is a common idiom meaning to reprimand a subordinate, or demand that they explain their actions. For example, why did Tom Holmoe extend Dave Rose's contract? Why didn't Dave Rose play Gavin Baxter earlier in the season? Why didn't Kalani Sitake start playing Zach Wilson earlier in the season? Why is BYU raising prices on football for next season? Carpetbagger. If you call someone a carpetbagger, you disapprove of them because they are trying to become a politician in an area which is not their home, simply because they think they are more likely to succeed there. Isn't that what is now called the Transfer Portal. It allows players to find places where they are more likely to succeed. Sometimes it hurts BYU, but more often than not it helps BYU. Carpet Bombing. Known as saturation bombing, is a large aerial bombing in a progressive manner to inflict damage in every part of a selected area of land. I call it BYU Sports Nation and Greg Wrubell in reverse. They say you can't put lipstick on a pig, but these guys certainly are trying hard when it comes to BYU football and basketball. Flying Carpet. A flying carpet is a legendary carpet, and common trope (a figurative or metaphorical use of a word or expression.) in fantasy fiction. They are typically used as a form of transportation and can quickly or instantaneously carry users to their destination. It is fantasy fiction to think that as good as Zach Wilson is and even if BYU had a fantasy and flying receiver to whom he could throw, BYU is going to be in the hunt for post season playoffs. It also means that it is fiction to believe that having Eric Mika and Elijah Bryant on this year's basketball roster would make any difference. BYU still won't make the NCAA tournament. Carpet (the "t" is silent) Diem. an exclamation used to urge someone to make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future. This is why Doritos and Dr Pepper were invented. They are the perfect post-game antidote for the ever-increasing losses in football and basketball. Gonzaga vs. BYU More Basketball Carpetbagging Even if I moved to Ghana, the chances of me running for President of that country and winning are slim to none.with emphasis on none. The same applies to BYU basketball beating Gonzaga this Thursday in Provo. It's ain't Ghana happen. More Carpet Bombing The only chance (and it is slim) BYU has is to put up at least 20 bombs from beyond the arc and make at 12 of them. Flying Carpets Aladdin and his flying carpet aren't available for BYU in this contest, but here's hoping Gavin Baxter can bring his high-flying magic to the game. BYU will need him to prove he is the player we all think he is. The Zags are loaded with NBA talent on their front line. This game won't be decided in the backcourt with guards but in the front court with the bigs. That means Childs and Baxter will have to deliver extra-special performances. Carpet (the "t" is silent) Diem The BYU crown can't be "silent" in this one. The more noise, the better BYU's slim to none chances. Called on the Carpet I look for the Zags to call BYU on the carpet in this one and deliver a reprimand and reminder to BYU that they are still Gonzaga's subordinate. You can watch this Carpet Cleaning and beating in person at the Marriott Center or here on television. Television Timetable BYU vs. Gonzaga (M Basketball) Thursday, January 31 at Provo Tipoff: 9:00 pm MST TV: ESPN2 BYU vs. LMU (M Basketball) Saturday, February 2 at Provo Tipoff: 7:00 pm MST TV: BYUtv Cougar Clicks <https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900052566/dick-harmon-tj-haws -finding-needed-rhythm-for-byu-heading-down-the-stretch-in-wcc-pla y.html> Dick Harmon: TJ Haws finding needed rhythm for BYU heading down the stretch in WCC play <https://www.sltrib.com/sports/byu-cougars/2019/01/27/kalani-sitak es-byu/> Kalani Sitake's BYU football program made significant progress in 2018, but school officials aren't ... <https://www.vanquishthefoe.com/2019/1/24/18187794/byu-football-re cruiting-de-cade-albright-signs-with-cougars> BYU Football Recruiting: DE Cade Albright Signs with Cougars <https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900052376/perfect-fit-brenna- chase-helping-byu-womens-basketball-team-exceed-expectations.html> Perfect fit: Brenna Chase helping BYU women's basketball team exceed expectations