HB Arnett’s

mallory2

801 372 - 0819

1391 West 800 South – Orem, Utah 84058

Vol. 36, Issue 29 – February 20, 2016

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Detmer: Problem? What Problem!

Polygamy Wives and Pari-Mutuel Wagering

I’m no polygamy expert, but I do know from personal experience it’s a handful keeping just one wife happy. And speaking of happy, who wasn’t happy to hear that Taysom Hill decided last week to stay in Provo and play his final year at BYU.

I’m no Ty Detmer, the new BYU offensive coordinator, but he claims loudly and clearly that he intends to keep both Hill and Tanner Mangum happy. On how he intends to do just that, Click here to hear his thoughts on playing plural quarterbacks.

I’m no horseracing expert either, but I do know just a little about betting on the ponies from a purely academic point of view and an occasional wager at the window when I was younger. I learned all I know about pari-mutuel wagering pre-mission from my non-LDS best friend in high school (He later became the odds-maker at the Stardust in Las Vegas) and post-mission from my stock broker. He taught me about Bears, Bulls and Beyer Speed Figures.

When it comes to wagering and winning, here is a little horse racing info that should get BYU football fans excited. Multiple QB horses, Mangum and Hill, all running as one BYU betting proposition for a 10-win season, is called an "entry." When betting either horse in the entry you would simply say, "Give me #1 to win. Both horses, 1 and 1A, Hill and Mangum, are considered to be the #1 horse and regardless which horse wins and is given the starting nod at BYU you are a winner. Basically, you get two horses for one bet. Regardless of who you pick, both will pay the same odds – a big time BYU football year.

Boxing Bet

Here’s more on pari-mutuel wagering and polygamy. Ty Detmer is boxing his bet at quarterback. The term "box" tells the mutuel clerk that you want all possible combinations of the horses selected in wagers such as exactas, trifectas and superfectas. Example: Tell the clerk, "Give me a $1 trifecta and box numbers 1, 3, and 7.

Regardless of who wins the starting job in September, Hill or Mangum, Detmer has boxed his bet and is betting that either Mangum or Hill should be able to deliver BYU a Superfecta season in 2016.

He is also taking a polygamy page from Alex Joseph of Big Water, Utah. The now deceased polygamist was a pragmatist. He was married to an attorney, teacher, accountant etc.

With Hill’s return, Detmer is also being pragmatic. He has an idea of what kind of offense he wants to run and now he has two candidates to pick and choose from. He also has an emergency preparedness plan if Hill or Mangum succumb to a season ending injury. Detmer is like a kid in a candy store. He has a 1 and 1A entry into his first season of college football.

Only One at a Time

With my limited experience and understanding of polygamy, pari-mutuel wagering, and football, Detmer and BYU can love all their wives and quarterbacks, but only be in bed with one at a time (I wish I knew a better way to say that so please forgive me if offended) and can only have one quarterback in the huddle at a time. But he can “box” his bet so he and BYU fans will have the best chance of winning football games in the fall.

And if he somehow can keep all of his wives and quarterbacks happy and content (good luck with that) while doing all of the above, he should quit coaching and host his own TV show and put Dr. Phil and Oprah out of business.

You and I may already have made up our minds when it comes to BYU’s starting quarterback next season, but we aren’t the ones actually laying down money with our bet for the best season possible for BYU. That would be Detmer and Kalani Sitake and his football staff.

When betting in horse racing, the Bible is still the Daily Racing Form. For your pigskin perusal here are the Daily Forms for Hill and Mangum:

Taysom Hill

Career		Passing									Rushing					Sacked		Fumbles
Year	GP	Effic	Comp	Att	Yds	Y/A	Pct	Lng	Int	TD	Att	Yds	Y/A	Lng	TD	No	Yds	No	Lost
2012 \| Freshman	6	122.39	42	71	425	6.0	59.2	28	2	4	55	336	6.1	68	4	6	40	1	0
2013 \| Sophomore	13	118.15	236	438	2938	6.7	53.9	60	14	19	246	1344	5.5	68	10	37	227	5	2
2014 \| Junior	5	141.67	88	132	975	7.4	66.7	56	3	7	87	460	5.3	30	8	14	72	4	2
2015 \| Senior	1	131.80	21	34	268	7.9	61.8	53	1	1	9	72	8.0	35	2	3	11	0	0
Career	25	123.88	387	675	4606	6.8	57.3	60	20	31	397	2212	5.6	68	24	60	350	10	4

Tanner Mangum

Career		Passing									Rushing					Sacked		Fumbles
Year	GP	Effic	Comp	Att	Yds	Y/A	Pct	Lng	Int	TD	Att	Yds	Y/A	Lng	TD	No	Yds	No	Lost
2015 \| Freshman	13	136.00	267	446	3377	7.6	59.9	84	10	23	63	-96	-1.5	11	2	29	184	6	3
Career	13	136.00	267	446	3377	7.6	59.9	84	10	23	63	-96	-1.5	11	2	29	184	6	3

Win/Loss Records for Both QB’s when both played a complete season with 13 games

Hill 2013: 8-5; Mangum 2015: 9-4. Ladies and Gentlemen, place your bets and good luck.

Hirings Don’t Lie

If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Copy Them

On February 1^st in Issue 26, I wrote the following:

It is obvious to me that Tom Holmoe has had a change of direction for BYU football in mind for at least a couple of years. What BYU was doing under Bronco Mendenhall was nice and even sometimes spectacular, but it was producing a program that was losing traction and ground to Utah.

Yes, that Utah. I think that that once we took off our blue goggles, it was completely obvious. It had nothing to do with conference affiliation versus independence or disparity in revenues.

It had to do with philosophy and advantages. Utah had BYU up against the wall and was ready for the knockout punch unless Holmoe made some serious steps. He made them and now it will be put up or shut up time for BYU football.

If I could see that Utah was a superior football program to BYU over the last few years, I can guarantee that Holmoe, with all his football savvy and coaching experience could also see it.

He could also identify what his good friend and old college roommate and teammate, Kyle Whittingham, did to make it happen.

Now he wants it to happen at BYU.

It started for Utah by recruiting Polynesians to dominate the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball.

That will be the first step for BYU and the hires they have recently made were implemented to do just that. Again, that is my opinion.

This is what I wrote today: If you can’t beat them, then copy them. Better yet, hire any and almost all coaches with a resume that includes Utah.

That opinion of mine was strengthened by the last and most recent football staff hires announced by Kalani Sitake. Click here to read the announcement.

When it comes to the actual coaching staff, there are just 3 coaches with Ute experience on their resumes. That would be head coach Kalani Sitake and defensive coordinator Ilaisa Tuiaki. Tight end coach also spent time with the Utes as a grad assistant.

When it comes to support staff, and recruiting specifically, it is obvious that Polynesian recruiting and Utah experience doing it is almost a resume requisite. Polynesian recruiting is certainly a priority for Sitake as he plays to his strength and goal of beefing up BYU on the line of scrimmage and in the toughness department. Here’s my latest head count of BYU coaches and staff whose resumes are Utahesque.

Now when comparing BYU’s football staff with Utah, the score is BYU 10, UofU 2 1/2. The Utes have Doug Ilisaia as director of football operations, Justin Ena and Guy Holliday as assistant coaches. Holliday is half black and half Polynesian.

If you think Sitake isn’t serious about building a Poly pipeline to BYU, just check out in whom he is showing interest in and offered already for next year in 2017 football recruiting.

Phillip Paea, DL, Berrien Springs HS, MI

Chaz Ah You, DB, Westlake HS, UT – dad hired last week by Sitake

Jay Tufele, DL, Bingham HS, UT

Marlon Tuipulotu, DL, Central HS, OR

Henry Bainvivalu, OL, Skyline HS, WA

Tayler Katoa, Ath, Layton HS, UT

Kesi Ah-Hoy, RB, Kahuku HS, HI

Noah Elliss, DL, Valor Christian HS, CO

Taniela Pututau, DB, Cottonwood HS, UT

Ariel Ngata, LB, Folsom HS, CA

Alden Tofa, DL West Jordan HS, UT

Phillip Paea, OL, Berrien Springs HS, MI

John Penisini, DL, Snow College, UT

Aliki Vimahi, DL, Kahuku HS, HI

Issac Rex (son of Byron Rex), TE, San Clemente HS, CA

Michael Richardson, OL, American Fork HS, UT

Jackson McChesney, WR/RB, Lone Peak HS, UT

And I Can Still Be President

BYU Can Still Be Top Seed in WCC Tournament

If Bernie Sanders renounces socialism, Hillary Clinton renounces Bill, Donald Trump renounces his comb over, Ted Cruz sings the Canadian national anthem at his next rally and Marco Rubio retakes the Mormon missionary discussions, there is still a chance I could be selected by either party to run for President of the United States.

To win the election, however, that would require that 319 million Americans decide to immigrate to Belize, Belgium and Belarus leaving me and my wife to cast our votes. I’m sure she would vote for me, but I’m still undecided.

That said, my chances of being President are still better than BYU’s chances of being the number 1 seed in the upcoming men’s WCC basketball tournament in Las Vegas.

For that to happen, Saint Mary’s would have had to beat Gonzaga Saturday night in Spokane, BYU would have to beat San Diego, Portland and Gonzaga in Provo and San Francisco or Santa Clara beat Saint Mary’s next week.

I hope you like living in Belarus. BYU did their part by bludgeoning San Diego 91-33 Saturday night in the doubleheader between the two teams this week. Now they get a chance to avenge the inexplicable loss to Portland on the road a few weeks back and their only chance to hold on to any NCAA post season chance with a win over Gonzaga in Provo.

That chance just got better with Saint Mary’s knocking off Gonzaga in Spokane 63-55. Now the only thing lacking is a run of the table in Provo by BYU and Santa Clara upsetting the Gaels in Moraga on Thursday or San Francisco pulling the stunner on their home court on the hilltop. Oh yeah, and me being elected President.

If I am elected President, it will be because of my basketball platform. It’s pretty simple. You have to have consistent post play. You can beat ordinary teams by shooting the three, but when you face good teams, they can take away the 3-ball especially if you have nobody who can score in the post.

That’s been the story of BYU basketball for years and it isn’t going to magically change next season, even with the arrival of Eric Mika or Payton Dastrup or the return of Kyle Davis and Corbin Kaufusi. There is a glimmer of hope however, in incoming freshman Yoeli Childs. He is only 6-6, but he can score down low. Of course that is what we all said about Jamal Aytes. We will see.

Meanwhile, I would appreciate it if you would give me your vote for POTUS and Dave Rose your support in finding an assistant coach that can actually coach up big men.

Women Win WCC

The Lady Cougars secured their first ever outright WCC championship in basketball. They did it behind Lexi Eaton Rydalch. She led the Cougars with 33 points in BYU’s title clinching 68-60 win over San Diego last Thursday night in the Marriott Center.

Eaton had help in the Cougars’ currently great 23-4, 15-1 season. She got it from players like Kalani Purcell, Makenzie Pulsipher and Kylie Maeda. But make no mistake, this was Rydalch’s team and deservedly so.

I will admit that I am not a women’s basketball fan. Never have been and never will be. I will admit, however, that I am a Lexi Rydalch fan and here’s why.

She is the first woman player I have seen at BYU that actually plays like a boy. She has a jump shot that rivals those of her male counterparts. She can take defenders off the dribble with either hand, just like guys do. And she plays with toughness that even some guys don’t have on the court.

Too bad she is only 5-10. If she was two inches taller, she could make a killing and lots of money in the WNBA. As it is, she will make good money either in the US league or overseas.

She has been as clutch as any player I have watched over the decades on the men’s side of the ledger. Bottom line: I will miss her on the court and that’s saying something considering my negative bias to women’s basketball.

You can also be sure that I won’t be the only one missing her. Think Jeff Judkins. He just had an all-time coaching career player on his roster. She deserves all the accolades she has received and now deserves a paycheck to validate those accolades.

Baseball, Softball and Volleyball

Mike Littlewood and his baseball team took the first three games of a four-game series with Saint Louis in Las Vegas Friday and Saturday, The Cougars bested the Billikens 21-7, 5-0 and 11-3. The final of the series will be played Monday.

In volleyball, the men’s team swept two matches from Cal Baptist this weekend. On Friday, it was 3-0 with the Cougars winning all three sets, 25-19, 25-20 and 25-22. Another three set on Saturday: 25-20, 25-18 and 25-19. BYU is now 12-2 overall and 8-2 in MPSF play.

In softball, the Cougars are now 7-3 on the year after taking 4-5 games in Las Vegas this past week. The Ladies beat Hawaii 9-1, Grand Canyon 4-0, Boise State 8-0 and Robert Morris 7-2. The lone loss was an extra-inning 10-6 loss to Colorado State.

Television Timetable

BYU vs. Portland (M Basketball)

Thursday, February 25 at Provo

Tipoff: 9:00 pm MST

TV: ESPNU

BYU vs. Portland (W Basketball)

Thursday, February 18 at Portland

Tipoff: 8:00 pm MST

TV: TheW.tv

BYU vs. Cal State Northridge (M Volleyball)

Friday, February 26 at Provo

Match Start: 7:00 pm MST

TV: BYUtv

BYU vs. Gonzaga (M Basketball)

Saturday, February 27, at Provo

Tipoff: 6:00 pm MST

TV: ESPN2

BYU vs. Cal State Northridge (M Volleyball)

Saturday, February 27 at Provo

Match Start: 8:00 pm MST

TV: BYUtv

BYU vs. Gonzaga (W Basketball)

Saturday, February 27 at Spokane

Tipoff: 3:00 pm MST

TV: TheW.tv

Missionary Update…Still no mission call yet, but we are pretty sure it will be in the mail this coming week. I am sending this letter out Saturday night because I am pitching my tent by the mail box on Monday morning and will be unavailable until the call arrives.

When it does arrive, we may not be able to divulge the news to family and friends because of potential confidentiality agreement issues.

When we were asked in the process of filling out our papers if we had any preference for serving, we put that I wanted to be called as the executive secretary and my wife as travel secretary for the Three Nephites. When we renewed our passports in December, we opted for the 52-page visa option just in case we need to be 3-Nephite ready to see the world.

We are hopeful, but upon further review, the Three Nephites probably are already extremely efficient in handling all their transportation and scheduling needs.

If our first preference doesn’t work out, we are still all in. It’s highly unlikely that we will be rated by the Church as 3-Nephite or even 2-star missionary recruits, but we are more than willing to walk on and lean on a higher power to give our best effort to serve wherever we are called. I’ll keep you posted…unless Tijuana, Tegucigalpa and or Timbuktu also have confidentiality agreements with which we have to abide.