I just want to say thank you to those of you who quietly paid for your memberships and signed up on the new board. (And an even bigger thank you to those who were already paid members, of course.) Also, thank you to those of you who expressed your concerns quietly and respectfully, without criticism but in the spirit of genuine goodwill for the future of AML.
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I can?t express how painful it was for me to read the venomous remarks, particularly those referring to ?secret meetings? and AML leadership which has been ?floundering for a while now.? I can?t tell you all of the struggles that ?AML Leadership? has experienced in the past few years. I wasn?t here for some of it, and, once I was here, there really was no such thing as AML Leadership. A few of us have been hanging on by our fingernails, soldiering on when there seemed to be no support whatsoever. I will be forever grateful to the (very) few people who stepped up and helped us get a little bit back on our feet in the past two years since I returned to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Salt Lake and volunteered to resume the position of Secretary which I had left four years before.
I tried a few years ago to get people to talk about what they wanted AML to be, what they got out of AML, and what they hoped to get out of it in the future. You might remember the survey I tried to conduct. Thank you to the two of you who responded to that survey. I?m sad that it took such a shakeup to get people to be vocal.
The conversation that I have seen develop on the list has been very telling. It looks like more people valued the list than I had known. It looks like hardly anyone values AML membership. It?s definitely time to look at what AML is and what it does, and whether it is worth sustaining it at this point. I can say for myself that I am bone-tired of the hours I have put into AML and emotionally devastated to see how little the organization means to people. I had no idea. But it?s silly for me to continue to put so much time and emotion into something that is simply not a product people want. Definitely we (meaning ?the people who care enough about AML to volunteer, show up, pay dues, attend meetings, make arrangements, etc.?) need to discuss what we have learned about the value people put on the list and on AML itself.
Most of us who have been attending these ?secret meetings? of the board have not been involved in the leadership for long. Very few of us even know how AML started or what it was originally intended to be. I admit that we have been stumbling a little as we try to figure out how to update and, hopefully, expand. I?m questioning now whether expansion is a desirable goal, regardless of practicality. If we who volunteer and pay are the only ones who care to see it expand, what?s the point?
At the bottom of it all, I think, is embarrassment. I?m embarrassed that I thought there was a reason for the organization to exist, and that I?ve put so much into fighting for it. It seems that, really, we are not much more than an e-mail community. A good one, but that?s it. And it seems that that?s what most of us are content to be.
Our president, Eric, has already informed us (board members and staff) that we will be seriously considering all of your comments at our next meeting. He has been an incredibly active president and already made great improvements in the organization. I have been very excited to have him as president because of how much he cares. He is a very busy guy and the post of president is not easy. I truly shudder when I see people criticizing the AML leadership. Please, remember that we are dealing with people, people who have given up precious personal time to try to fix problems that have been a long time in the making. (I know you?re annoyed when I refer to mysterious ?problems.? But we simply don?t choose to blame or point fingers.) Just trust me: we all started in a hole and are trying to dig out; it?s a big job. Some respect would be nice.
For now, you?re not going to stop receiving list mail tomorrow. Just the old address is discontinuing tomorrow. You?ll still have time to complain, or voice support, or suggest charitably. Don?t panic! Don?t jump ship just yet. Stay tuned while we work on this. As I said, we have been completely taken aback by the response. (It's hard to tell sometimes whether the most vocal people truly represent the feelings of the majority.) We probably handled the announcement and its timing wrong, but we?re trying to do what?s best. Give us a little time and hang in there.
---Darlene Young
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