Re: [AML] Beck, Leaving the Saints

Celia M. Malm wrote:

> that the authors who have "escaped" their culture tend to blame the
> *culture* for whatever happened to them. But a quick look at
> reality reveals that the same kinds of things happen to all kinds
> of people, regardless of the culture they live in.

This is so true.

I really feel for kids who grow up in dysfunctional families. It
often seems like those least able to care for kids are producing the
bulk of them. But at the same time there are simply poor parents and
folks with emotional issues everywhere. I don't deny that religion
(of whatever sort) will color how these people act. But to blame
religion rather than the underlying root causes seems misplaced.

That's not to say there aren't cultural issues that deserve to be
critiqued. But often these cultural problems (such as being in
denial about horrible dysfunction within families) are characteristic
of many cultures.

> And I confess that the quirks of "Utah Mormon culture" are one of
> the reasons that I and my husband (who, thankfully, grew up
> elsewhere) have chosen not move back to Utah.

I used to be horribly critical of "Utah Valley Culture" and swore up
and down I'd never live here. Yet here I am more than 13 years after
graduation from BYU and I'm still here. There are still plenty of
things about the culture I dislike, but frankly there were things
about the culture I've disliked everywhere I've lived. And frankly I
prefer here to many places I live. Also, I just find that as
annoying as some things are you don't *have* to really deal with them
in your day to day life if you don't want to. I've found life is
much more what you make of it than what you find yourself in, as I
get older. I used to get depressed about how life wasn't what I
wanted and then I found life could be what you make it.


Thom Duncan wrote:

> For that, I don't need as much evidence, because I've seen similar
> "Hear no
> Evil: Bishops in my life.

As, I suspect, have we all. But the issue isn't whether some Bishops
don't listen to others and prefer to live as ostriches with their
heads in the sand. The issue is how Beck presents it with the Bishop
putting his fingers in his ear and chanting like a 3 year old. Once
again there is often (although not always) a kernel of truth behind
what Beck says. The problem is that it is so dressed up in hyperbole
and rhetorical creation that it comes to bear little resemblance to
whatever truth prompted it. That kind of exaggeration is what bugs
me. Had she stuck to the very valid points of criticism she could
have made I don't think most of us would have had a problem.
Although perhaps, as Celia pointed out, we might suggest Beck is
naive to see this as a Mormon problem rather than a human problem.

You suggest later having been in a "ward from hell." I've been in a
few myself and generally just went to Church and ignored the rest of
what was going on - seeing how quickly I could leave the boundaries.
But while I have a slew of stories I could tell the whole fingers in
ear bit seems well beyond anything I've seen. Now I have seen folks
clearly with mental problems go up and bear testimony in a horribly
embarrassing way. I'd hardly think that is appropriate to present as
characteristic of the Mormon experience. Although given rates of
mental illness among Americans one ought expect it at a reasonable
rate. The question is how one presents such experiences: the
context. Beck really twists things there.

Clark