My take on this issue is that two of the reasons
pornography is a "problem" are 1) because we don't
have a good way to talk about sex in our culture, and
2) we are way too busy.
1)
I have a weird uncle who isn't exactly the picture of
health and fitness, yet he has little sex parties at
his house where he and his friends (and yes, spouses)
play little sex games (clothes stay on, hands stay to
themselves). It really made me squirmy the first time
he told me about them. He also writes poetry where sex
makes frequent appearances, often in lighthearted
contexts. Again, they made me squirmy. But as I
continued to read his stuff, I started to realize that
I had found a guy who was both Mormon AND comfortable
exploring sexuality. I thought you had to be young and
sexy to do that.
Thinking about it, I have encountered exactly zero
instances of being able to talk about sex in a
church-sponsored environment without the weight of
hell and damnation hanging over every word. Maybe I
just grew up in a weird environment (I think Utah
County could be counted as weird). The Victorians have
been reincarnated as Mormons. What we need is a Mormon
Oscar Wilde.
2)
I saw a book once (and yes, I cracked it) called _Who
Has Time for Tantric Sex?_ You know, tantric sex, that
thing where people have sex for days and days and days
(sounds like a good idea to me). And i think its basic
premise is very indicative of our culture: we are into
instant gratification, but only because we don't have
time to get the real stuff.
I did a survey in a ward I lived in and found out that
most of the guys in my priesthood quorum didn't get
enough sleep, worked more than 9 hours a day (and
another 2 or 3 thinking about work), spent 2 hours a
day with their family, and thought they spent about 2
hours a week doing something they actually liked
doing.
Who has time for a real relationship? Even if we want
one?
I think the best thing the church could do to combat
pornography consumption is to significantly decrease
the amount of time people need to put into church
work, strongly encourage its members to lighten up on
work (accepting the fact that tithing donations will
fall as a result) consider less opulent lifestyles,
and stop worshiping lawyers and business people.
It'll never work though. The prostestant work ethic
has found its real home in Mormonism. Mormons will not
stop working or trying to "improve" their lifestyle.
They will continue to become lawyers and scientists
and business people because its all a part of the
eternal plan. Our general authorities are frequently
picked from the realm of business, which makes good
sense if you're running a corporation (and that's just
what the church is doing) but it also encourages us to
idolize those who make good money and are busy busy
busy.
The only reason General Authorities aren't porn
consumers is because of the filter on the COB's
internet service, and the fact that they don't have a
minute to themselves.
I'm pretty convinced that people go after what makes
them happiest. But I'm also convinced that the
environment they live in often constricts what kinds
of happiness is available. Considering the lifestyle
of many active Mormons I'd wonder if a fulfilling
sexual life just isn't an option.
If a guy had eight hours a day to play and enjoy life,
and if his wife had the same. If they were healthy
because they didn't overwork themselves, if they
weren't always answering the cell phone, if their
chidlren didn't have a thousand activities to go to
each week so they could grow up to be achievers; I
think there would be little to tempt the man toward
pornography consumption. He and his wife would have
wild, frequent romps. They'd be able to explore all
the different aspects and moods of their sexuality.
Sex would become a creative act rather than a hurried
release.
IMHO.
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